the frozen mind

tuesday, 25 november 08 - unbelieveably today i basically did nothing at all. well, minus the showers, prayers and eating. other than that the whole day can be summed up as a good day on the bed and sofa. i'm not sure i'm tired out, because theres nothing much i had done the day before. class and had a trip to cyberjaya, and basically that was it. if fatigue is not to be blamed i guess its just the state of the mind. somehow i believe it is frozen up and not processing as fast as it should be. multiple things are running in my head but somehow i'm back to pentium 2 (or is it 1?).all i can say is that i'm getting more and more confused, and feeling quite lost right now.praying for divine intervention in finding solutions and helping me to decide my path, coz i really hate what i'm feeling right now -a cocktail of emotions.

zipped mouth

have you ever felt that u want to blurt out all of your heart's contents but just can't? well thats just how i'm feeling right now. many things to be said, but tongue is tied and mouth is zipped and somehow my fingers froze. somehow the autonomous control of my body overides the voluntary control.
multiple emotions, feelings engulf me, but the only thing i can blurt out now is just that my RM1432.60 knee brace has arrived, and well i guess i'm more than satisfied with. but, hope my knee and my tibia isn't dependent on it for the long run. well a brace is a support; so i hope it wouldn't be an additional organ for me.
damn, how my legs are tingling to run and jump again.

week in review

an eventful one week has elapsed. a bit tiring and stressful, but thats what makes life fun. week started with preps for the summative. Quite fun to relive the 'prep at school' life again. Staying at the library from 8 to 10 just brings fond memories of KYS. Guess theres another silver lining to the injured knee - study to makes my mind wander away from the knee.
as for the summative, as expected - tough. i think its the best summative if i done so far in IMU. what grades will i get? as usual my answer- it doesn't matters. i'll learn from my mistakes more than from my success.
weekend came which means - sunathon at kampung serendah, hulu selangor. nice experience. fun looking at some of the kid's reaction. from utter coolness to being hysterical. just helped out at post operation, because i was too lazy to hangout in the operation room and suture.
as for today, im forking out a whooping 400 us dollars to buy myself an acl knee brace. just had to. my knees are just as good as jello.

the broken knee ironic was it that i ruptured two of my knee ligaments in the event that i had really really anticipated and prepared for. 30 August-the Singapore Open 2008 at Farrer Park will always be an occasion i will always remember - for the most painful thing i have ever felt physically.

A 3 hour operation to clear my disfigured knee (the orthopaedic said its the worst non contact injury he's ever seen), clean out the cellular debris, reconstruct my lateral ligaments, repair the obliterated meniscus and just clean my torn ACL plus the estimated 5 months of rehabilitation really made me thinking. Hows life so far? and how is it going to be?

I guess its a blessing in disguise. The doctors say its a 25-75 chance of returning to active sports participation. And it just came as a wake up call. How am i going to lead my life? What am i going to be? Who am i associating and going to associate with?

A pile of questions that needs answering. And of which some answers needed to be searched for. Its not if I can just google it up.

Back again at last....

Well, its been a long while( and i mean a very very long time) since i wrote here. Guess I'm in the mood again to write..or i guess i just need to blurt out my feelings..huh..

lets make it this way, I'll just put my thoughts under different posts, just to make it easier for my readings in my future...just to refer back if i need to on how miserable i've been feeling these past few right?but i believe looking back makes us appreciate the future....

unnecessary headache

well again i've been silent from the blog space reason whatsoever...just the plain laziness of the mind and limbs to type out my thoughts...but i guess there are certain things that i have to speak my mind the title says...i have a unwanted, unnecessary and one that will linger for quite some while...just hope that it won't cause over dilatation of the capillaries of my head that'll lead to migraine or increases the cranial blood pleasure that'll lead to cerebral haemorrhage..thinking of it, it doesn't seem a bad idea...for my soul to be transported to the gates of Hades and leave all the stupid worldly problems behind.
Nottingham Uni, why do you have to push forward the football calendar ahead by 2 months? If you guys can't play in May and June, don't be the host or play...just concentrate on your bloody academic calendar for goodness are just forcing everyone especially me into such a mess...
IMU, with its hyper excited,'owh, i can do everything coz i'm a medical student' mentality..come on..please grow up and don't act as if you guys are the best in the world...i'm sick of it...
Wildcats frisbee team, please please please be more matured and doesn't mean that ultimate players of Malaysia look up to you means you are God, you have the divine authority that can't be criticise...just remember that some of your teammates have sacrificed and done more than you do...its just that they are not like some of you dumb witted populist who love to be in the limelight...and for heaven's sake...find new blood...doesn't mean you are on top now, you will stay there without doing anything...from what i'm observing..Wildcats equals the Wall of Jericho and Tower of Babel.
And to the person who wishes to break the frisbee team apart by sexual segregation....KISS MY ASS...


24 January, it was a sunday...first time a tourney in malaysia i think that is held on a sunday...but came down to Alice Smith School confident of a championship...well the build up to it wasn't as smooth as wat i would hope for...bust ups..non commitance..egos..tempers...
but on the day itself we were robbed of it...i think th whole team played the whole day better than the eventual winners and would have won if we played thm in the finals...but for me dubious scores (sumhow our final scores was different than the organizers) and blunders by the organizers ( who forgot the rules they send out to everyone )cost us dearly...
the team played well...very minimal mistakes...great scores and spirit...i did the greatest twice n both completed and damn happy bout it...
well a 3rd place is gud enough i guess